There’s a dark ball of evil inside you
He says.
And sometimes
I wonder
If that’s the real you
Or if the real you is the pretty girl
Smiling at me
With tears in her eyes.
You’re a fucked-up kid
He says.
You’ve never known
Real poverty
You’ve never known
Real pain
Yet you sit alone in your room
Crying on cue.
You’re brilliant
He says.
The smartest person I’ve ever met
But only because
You never step beyond
The boundaries of your capabilities
Only because
You play it safe.
You’re angry
He says
You’re always, always angry
And sometimes
You lose your grip
On keeping that hidden
And you spit fire
And singe the world.
You’re a pretty girl
He says
Such a pretty girl
Such a lucky, loved person.
But you don’t see it.
And I don’t know how else to tell you
But…
You need to stop needing people.
You need to stop needing people
He says
You need to stop needing people
To fix you
No one can find what’s broken
And they get tired of looking
While your heart goes cold
And your tears keep flowing.
You’re wonderful, truly wonderful
He says
But I’ve danced too long
On this emaciated glacier
That is your heart
Waiting for the song to end
Waiting for you to smile
And mean it.
I’ve danced too long
He says
Always being the lead
Always being the one
Holding you up
Keeping you in time
And trying in vain to keep you
From stepping on my toes.
You’re a pretty girl
He says.
But there’s that dark ball
Of evil inside you
And I thought I could handle it
Or I thought you would change
But clearly my love,
I was wrong.
From the Archives: 3/2/08
